I think the excess christmas heat has finally got to his brain...

So indeed it is 2 days after Christmas, and I have spent the last 4 days wishing that I had had the foresight to pack at least one pair of shorts.. But who does that. I mean when you check the weather and it’s a consistent average temperature of 40m you figure it’s gonna stay that way…. Enter the panhandle of Florida’s mood-swing climate… And helloooo schizo-weather… Nonetheless, it has given me a good chance to get to the beach. (One of those perks of living in Florida.)

I believe that everyone has a place where everything slips away, a place where they can forget and just have an ounce of freedom. For some it may be on a sports field, others a stage or some a quiet room… But for me it’s the beach, more specifically in the water. It’s my escape if you will. Nothing else matters while I’m out there. Not the stresses of life. Not the frustrations of the opposite sex (no offense ladies). Not a care in the world, it’s just me and my board, and the waves… and if I’m lucky sometimes God stops by for a chat or two.

It was on such an occasion that I came up with these thoughts. While sitting out in the water on a recent surf trip, I started thinking. I had to get past the initial thoughts of OHH MY GODDD I’M FREEZING!!!! And then I was clear to get to the really good stuff.
While I was waiting on the next set of good waves to roll in, I started thinking about surfing and I decided that surfing is a lot like 2 things in this life… Sex and God. Since it’s probably not the best idea to go into both of those in the same blog, I’ll let you think of all the possible sexual references and implications surfing may make and I’ll stick to the God analogy….

So before I send myself to hell… I’m just gonna jump into this thing. The thing about surfing is, it’s not just a matter of are you in shape and can you stand up on the board, a multitude of factors come into play. What is the ocean doing, are you in the right spot, are you riding the right board, etc. So in short, it’s not just knowing what to do, it’s about knowing how to handle all the changes that the ocean can bring your way, and still ride the wave out successfully. And with that, if the wave decides to close out and throw you for a loop, you have to have the determination to get out there and try it again….

I hope that you can kinda see where this is going…

In life I feel like we strive so hard to be in that just right spot for everything to work out so perfectly, yet if any of you are like me, you always find yourself inches away in the perfectly just barely wrong spot. And it is so frustrating because you see everyone who found that perfect spot in their life and are riding it to the fullest while you’re getting trounced because you were just off. So you strive and work so hard to get in the spot where you saw people finding fulfillment, yet again it proves to be that just barely wrong spot and again you get trounced. And this cycle repeats a few times. You may even think you hit it just perfect only to have the bottom fall out from under you and again you are back at square one. And each time this cycle repeats it gets harder and harder to convince yourself to get up and try again. But if you wanna succeed you have to.

In the end you usually find yourself looking up to the sky and begging God for a little help. And believe it or not relief usually comes. Sometimes not right when you want it, but I think God knows when we need that boost of confidence to get us through a hardship in our lives and help us keep fighting the good fight.

I hope that maybe some of this made sense, they say to write about what you know… so that’s what I’m doing. Keep fighting the good fight, and never stop striving to live the life that you know will bring you true fulfillment. I leave you with lyrics from Jack’s Mannequin that always kind of pick me up and I think they relate well to this…..


You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth

The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open yeah
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
Swim

You gotta swim
For nights that won’t end
Swim for your families
Your lovers your sisters
And brothers and friends
Yeah, you gotta swim
For wars without cause
Swim for the lost politicians
Who don't see their greed is a flaw

The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open yeah
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
But I'm not giving in
Swim

You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's an ocean to drift in
Feel the tide shifting away from the spark
Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just follow the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think
The currents will drag us away from our love

Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim

So I finally decided to give myself a reason....

First and foremost, whoever can tell me where that title is from gets major bonus points.... Unfortunately because I haven't struck it rich yet, these points are much like the points on Who's Line is it Anyways... They're there to make you feel like you've accomplished something, but really they just help keep the show rolling and in the end amount to nothing.....

..... (I smell a segue)......

With this thought (and many others for that matter) I write my first blog post in the better part of 3 to 4 years... Sure I’ve done the cliché MySpace blogs or facebook notes with my poetry or occasional ramblings, but I decided that I’m in college now, and by God if I wanna be one of those cool, intellectuals that people take seriously.... I NEED A BLOG (cue that triumphant montage music)


..... (The brief digression)....

I understand this doesn't have to do with the aforementioned bonus points, Drew Carey hosted game shows (excluding the price is right... he's not bob barker... the price is wrong B!%^@)... But this does have to do with me, my blog and people. So bare with me.

I decided to write this because last night was again one of a multiplicity of nights where I was sitting, driving, etc and that certain song for that just right moment comes on, and I felt like I was left standing back watching me on a movie screen as the music played the emotional overture to a scene of heavy pontification.... And you think to yourself wow I’ve got some serious stuff swirling around up there and I should write it down. Because that's what all great people do right, they write down all their aimless thoughts and ramblings, publish them and then become famous. After reading one of my best friend’s blogs I am convinced 1000 times over he'll be famous, so I figure I can at least write a foreword for somebody and muster enough case for a nice artery clogging spread of the Wendy’s value menu.....

So as I bring this digression to a close, the long and short of this preface is, I have way too many thoughts in my tiny head, and I’m running out of crevices for them to be stored in... Thus I’m dumping them on here, thanks to inspiration from a best friend.....

........ (Now back to Drew Carey and the bonus points).....

When you watch show’s like Who’s Line is it Anyway where they have points or other stimuli that amount to nothing in the end other than they just kept the show rolling, what does that make you think of? Let me throw another one at you that really knocked the wind outta me, CASH CAB! That’s right I said it, and I stand by it. My one reason for watching the Discovery Channel on a semi-regular basis is a fix. I know I was as shocked as you are right now. I thought all along that these people were so lucky and that in the end they were walking out of the cab (if successful) with real money. But ohhh no. That’s fake money they’re holding when they get out of the cab, they get a check mailed to them at a later date…
To quote my Mass Comm teacher Dr. Roberts, “Does this bother anyone?!?”
My question is, “Is anyone else bothered by the fact that shows like this lead us to believe that one thing is happening that is happy, but in the end it is just a stimulus to keep the ball rolling?”
Now I take that thought and then begin to look at my life. How much different stuff am I involved in to keep the proverbial ball of life rolling for appearances sake? How often do I fool myself and others to boost my ratings and public opinions so I don’t get cancelled or voted off my little island.
In life I think we spend so much time trying to appease everyone else and trying to maintain a pseudo state of homeostasis that we lose touch with ourselves and with others around us. We don’t need bonus points to keep us and others happy. We need to be ourselves. WE need to live the life that each and every one of us were destined to live. When you’re doing this bonus points don’t matter, because you life is better than any super double mega give away round could ever be.

Now I just have to convince myself to take my own advice… So I propose a checklist.

(primary lofty goals)
[] Stop living for others bonus points
[] Vote others off who are trying to have me worry about being voted off

(short-term need to get them done so I don’t ruin Christmas goals)
[]wrap presents
[] finish making mom’s calendar (holding out for it to be here by new years0
[]cope with my brother’s in-laws

(immediate self gratifying goals)
[]Go surfing
[] Comeback without freezing off any essential appendages


Well that about does it for me for now… Hope maybe some of this made some sense… there’s my ride.

Cheers!